For anyone who has ever worked a single day in hospitality. We are here for you.
When you've worked in hospitality. You just know things.
You know that when that lady orders a skinny muggofchino, she really means a large cappuccino on skim milk.
You know at 2:59pm, 1 minute before closing time, you will always get a customer. And they will undoubtedly want a milkshake (death). To dine in.
You also know that when that elderly man asks for an extra extra extra extra extra hot coffee, he really means he wants you to burn the milk.
We've all considered disciplining a small screaming child. Whilst their active-wearing, green-smoothie-drinking mother sits with her friend talking about her latest fad diet. I wonder if she would notice if I gave her 3-year-old an espresso? Probably not.
We've also all thought about doing a bin run and simply never coming back.
In hospitality, you learn how to swear softly, laugh silently and get as much free food as possible. Granted, you can't put those skills on a resume. But you will carry them with you for the rest of your life. And that, dear hospo friends, is priceless.
Send me your hospo stories. Big and small. Awkward and painful. I want to hear them. That time you walked into the store room and cried your eyes out. Or that time you kindly told a customer how to pronounce the word "espresso".
Because at one point, all of us finished a shift with stuff all over our face and mysterious liquids on our shoes. And all of us vowed to never be that customer. So I'm writing about those stories.
This is for all the baristas. All the waitstaff. All the dishies. All the chefs. All the bartenders.
This is the Hospo Hotline. And it's here for you. Always.